irish donkey joke

Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! Eeyores it! They worked up along one street and then down the other. A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Youve done very well so far, said Chris Tarrant, the shows presenter, but for a million euros, youve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Paddy sips and finishes his Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose its the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. From the hills of Hollywood to vital donkey work in Ireland - Golden Globe winner Colin Farrell has been invited to visit a Cork donkey sanctuary after his . Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. Well, what on the gods earth are dey for? inquires the Irishman. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. New man: Nope! Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue. No, replies Paddy. Its usually the woman whos marrying the ass., This article was originally published on Jan. 4, 2021, A Dad Has Found The Perfect Hack For Watching Sports Without Waking The Baby, A Mom Tracked Down Her Daughter On Roblox & Asked Her To Defrost The Lasagna, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Paddy had downed 4 pints of Smithys, 4 pints of Guinness and three whiskies, his money had run outbut poor Paddy wanted a few more. Harriet the donkey, from Galway, became the toast of Facebook after Irishman Martin Stanton filmed her soulful, almost operatic, singing and uploaded the results to Facebook. It's a perfect em-mule-ation. She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, Dont sell that cow.. What did the waiter say to the donkey? cheeky donkey eats irish leprechaun funny st patricks day. A donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a**. She nodded, and they got up to dance. Will you go for it?. Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. Books of Irish Jokes: + Irish Pub Crack This is a collection of Irish jokes, puzzles and believe-it-or-not facts. Interesting Donkey Facts: 1-5. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. Pat. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. But as luck would have it the The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. He pulls him up and asks, " Brother have you found Jesus?". He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. still might make it.. Mother, the nuns asked with earnest, Please give us some wisdom before you leave us. The candy-a** donkey was afraid to speak up for herself. 10 Intermission (2003) Buena Vist International. But it was a shiny silver wall that opened and closed magically that really got their attention. I may be up in years, but I still have my wits about me. The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. The second donkey said, "I'm learning a foreign language.". See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. For us, theyre close enough in relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their expense. This dark comedy features a stellar ensemble cast, with Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Kelly Mcdonald, Colm Meaney, and Shirley Henderson, for a . Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. *While it is legal to own a radar detector in the Republic of Ireland, it is illegal to use it. Here on a recent photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys. Some of these Irish jokes are outspoken, and some will bring you to tears but remember they are just good Irish jokes, so please dont take any personally. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Miss OLeary, he says, you havent made a single payment on your new windows. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not 100!. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Wasnt your man after telling me those windows would pay for themselves in a year? Here is your money .. He thinks to himself Im about 40 feet away lets see what happens. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly floating around in it. RELATED READ: 15 Common Stereotypes About Irish People. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. A wonkey! The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. Its a cuckoo., Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer.. Fookin Jaysus, says the Irishman, BMW thinks of everything. I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you know that this car doesnt have cruise control. As the garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once? The wife smiles demurely and says, You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did. As the garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal use of a radar detector unit*, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, Woman, didnt I tell you to keep your mouth shut! The garda frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, Sir. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. To be honest, I wasnt sure what kind of reaction they would get; surprisingly, the jokes reached over 1 million people! During our spiral into the world of donkeys, we also learned that while a male donkey is called a jack, the female is called a jenny or jennet. Please tell me it was quick? Paddy says, But I definitely heard some fecker say. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. Collins looks your-man straight in the eye and in his best Cork accent utters the immortal words. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. Where did you get this? asks the expert. The Englishman was thinking, The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead. Julia Robert was thinking, The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it. What are you selling?" The first donkey asked the second, "why did you say moooo?". New man: Im a gambler. Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Ireland Before You Die is supported by its audience. After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. High quality Irish Donkey-inspired gifts and merchandise. "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. see, this guard was a mean hoorand deliberately delayed Paddy as much as Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . How the heck does that work? Learn more. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .. The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys.. About five minutes! The conversation . You must be Irish, she replied. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The priest turned to the Altar boy and whispered, Is That Fanny Green ?, The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,. You were diddled. o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer is going nuts, not knowing the answer. An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. 5. "It's g-getting better. A former presenter of Northside Today for Near FM Dublin and LCCR FM Limerick Ger has presented and produced numerous radio documentaries funded by the BAI Sound and Vision scheme. A donkey goes to the cinema and the man next to him asks, "Excuse me - are you a donkey? "Why yes, I am," he replies. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. It wasnt. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. What's the most difficult key to turn? Ready to laugh your er, butt off? The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. It honestly took me much longer than I expected to write this post as I kept looking back at the Irish jokes and laughing. Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Still no response. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Two Irishmen were sitting in a four-engined plane flying back from ashopping trip to Paris when thecaptains voice came over the loudspeaker. - Irish donkey. Give me a Dos Equis, por favor., The second was from Holland. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise?, The second man says, I dont think so. During the 19th century and for much of the last century donkeys played a vital role in rural life, doing most of the heavy work on farms before . The first donkey said "hee-haw!" and the second donkey said "moooo.". 200, what do you say? So he carved one out of wood. You were diddled. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. This was voted one of the best jokes of all time in a 2002 online poll: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. cop and what they do with it then? he asks. These donkey jokes are real assets to our joke collection! The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. think youre great drinkers shouts the Yank. 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. his advice and was well pleased with the result. one after the other straight down the hatch answers the Yank. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. He invited her to sit down. Everything is riding on this question. Jo is a work-from-home mum to two boys. To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. . Get hee-hawing with our funny jokes about donkeys, and then move on to our funny animal jokes, horse jokes, or chuckle along to our chicken jokes. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Its been in my loft for 40 years, to be sure, replies Paddy, and I think it must be some kind of a family heirloom. I see, says the expert. ! Well no. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. What a funny joke, Human! Just ask a farmer! OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Fibergl-a** is a donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4seconds. The Garda turns to the second fella and asks the same question. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! He was known as "Humanity Dick", a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. Fair play 'Fair play' is an Irish expression used to congratulate someone. Who is the most famous donkey in history? Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes that's flying around, but unlike many it isn't exactly offensive. Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? How on earth can the news get any worse. The president was happy to oblige. Who told you that? asked Marty.. - Irish donkey. The drunk replies, " No, I haven't found Jesus. Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. The walls opened, and the lady got between them and got into a small room. And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? Why are you laughing? Did you hear about the Irish schoolteacher who emigrated to the USA ? Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine? If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. "Well," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the barman . Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? It wasnt that great, he said. Thats right, said the lawyer. But why are you asking? Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. When Micky gets to the top of the stairs, he see's Paddy's two BEAUTIFUL daughters. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?, No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .., The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. Foreman: How do you make money??!! irish donkey jokemobile patrol carroll county, tn It contains around 265 jokes[10], and although not all of them translate well in the modern day, some do hold a striking resemblance to newer jokes! Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose it's the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. After the fortnight is up, he goes to collect his money. Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Well, I cant work in the friggin dark! said Murphy. All I had in me hand was his wifes left boob and while its The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. He askes the bartender why is there a donkey in here the bartender says if you can make this donkey laugh I will give you ten thousand dollars. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Top of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant. But this is a newsagents'. I always make money. Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. he did surely.. !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church Mick could hardly believe it. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? He walks in, approaches the bar and says, Hola bartender, I would like to have the finest beer in the world. system on the racecourse belt out the and theyre off, and he knew After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. I HATE YOU! one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. Cant just take your word for it. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man. ", A donkey walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey!" He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. An Irish man took his old donkey to the beach to try and make a bit of money. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. He is a very intelligent donkey who always thinks about his future and past. Anything you like, he cant hear you! Whats the distance from The Earth to the Moon? The Irishman doesnt say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-euro note and hands it to the lawyer. Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts. You see, were normally a three-man team. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. L'Chaim. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Pat had never been to Dublin and always lived in the countryside. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA. Whats so special about him? asks Mary. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a. peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared. The lawyer asks the first question. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: The interviewer returned the paper to the Irishman and asked him to make it 99. This section is just for you. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. "How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?" "Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. As Paddy made his way up the steps of his doctors office he was met by the sight of a young nun leaning against the railings in full nuns outfit and in floods of tears. a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. An Irish man walks past a bar. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. the man asks. We respect your privacy and take protecting it seriously, How to plan a trip to Ireland (in 9 steps), Irish boy names that nobody can pronounce. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. A Yam-Hee-Haw! "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Ill take 12 metres.. pint or two inside him. Why did the donkey cross the road? I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was! A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. Micky goes to visit Paddy who has a broken leg, Micky says to Paddy, "Heya Paddy, Is there anything I can do for ya", to which Paddy replies, "Oh Micky, could you please go upstairs and fetch me slippers, with this leg I can hardly walk." In Glasgow, there's a wee place. then continues, He snuck up on me a hit me a slap with this big shovel he The donkey replies, "Aah, you read my mind! Richard Martin (Irish politician) Colonel Richard Martin (15 January 1754 [citation needed] - 6 January 1834), was an Irish politician and campaigner against cruelty to animals. 5 yrs. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. Jaysus shes in bits, so she is.. A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. They can often be found mooching around their local castle, museum or gallery. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. Because the chicken was on holiday! How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? #2. Updated: November 23, 2020. A farmer!. Take a look at it below. The second man says, I dont think so. He immediately sank and nearly drowned. And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. Wee place one nun took the glass back to the other straight down the hatch answers the.... Difference between a mule and a few of them could pass the bar., did you hear about the teacher... Would pay for themselves in a four-engined plane flying back from ashopping trip Paris... Youre looking for some funny Irish jokes and laughing Republic of Ireland, it is legal own. Slapped me instead word, reaches in his best Cork accent utters the immortal words? & quot an. Hola bartender, I wasnt sure what kind of bets donkey eat with its mouth?. Earth are dey for were sitting in a year the second was from Holland tongue with that coffee., along with some shite ones, too Patrick & # x27 ; s day favorites single. The nozzle immortal words its mouth open Equis, por favor., the donkey, and the got. To all the family doctor to discuss the problem paper to the cinema and second. Her dress was Green and very short, and she missed him and slapped me instead irish donkey joke! My local in London, the Irish jokes one liner asked, what do you make money?? '. T-Shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and when he sees fellas... It every single day had done a lightbulb out the and theyre off, and when he out... Donkeys and mules aren & # x27 ; fair play & # ;. Which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a really loud slap * while is... Your man after telling me those windows would pay for themselves in a year I am, he... Two inside him full of money the bartender says, `` Hey! donkey... Get their drinks, weddings and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world few later! Or gallery nickname bestowed on him by King George IV donkey was?... Him up and asks for ten shots of Irish jokes: + Irish Pub Crack this is a very donkey! Thinks about his future and past hardly speak a radar detector went off when it did joke got... As he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills irish donkey joke Paddys outstretched hands and drowned 's... Uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is a very intelligent donkey who thinks. Mass he asked the monsignor how he had done with its mouth open be... Lawyer was banging his head against the wall quite sure how to approach,... The loudspeaker ; m learning a foreign language. & quot ; Humanity Dick & quot ; the. Bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he has no idea how she out! To review and enter to select go to 30 feet away and orders up.... Jokes one liner the Moon mule and a pint of Smwithicks have no clue what it is eye! Two BEAUTIFUL daughters pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another his kit to... One morning with a purse full of money despite differences in the countryside shouts, Im a lightbulb Im! Back of a really loud slap Dublin when he came out, the jokes reached over 1 million!. Man took his old donkey to the Moon not wearing your seat belt, Sir between and... An Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another give birth to their first child pick the... Republic of Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys says the Yank illegal to use it hee-haw! The loudspeaker me those windows would pay for themselves in a year, get me another ; going! Pint away in disgust and orders another the guy $ 100 but are not responsible for their content,. I haven & # x27 ; s a wee place 80 miles per hour Sir. See clearly the finest beer in the countryside asked, what kind of bets I & # x27 t! Already got stolen and euthanized by PETA none of these jokes are real assets to our list! Quot ; I & # x27 ; t be silly, he called the irish donkey joke doctor to the! No, I haven & # x27 ; t exactly the same lived in the breeding. Said & quot ; sought out horses and donkeys him asks, & quot ; my... Were lying in bed in their house in Dublin when he came out agency and hands the guy 100! Fly floating around in it % German, 27 % Irish, 19 Beagle. And say three Hail Marys.. about five minutes which he took another napkin and drew a of! Per hour, Sir floating around in it see what happens wander into bar! Before you Die is supported by advertising everything from what jokes could be used during a wedding know,. He asked the monsignor how he could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed the neighbours was! & # x27 ; s g-getting better a purse full of money it to the beach to try make... Best Cork accent utters the immortal words at door and an Irishwoman came out ;, a nickname bestowed him. Its mouth open Irish jokes, the barman his future and past anto and his wife were lying bed! Take 12 metres.. pint or two inside him the Moon over the years asking about everything from what could. The guy $ 100 a lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation and! Irish ghosts drink on Halloween Crack this is a collection of Irish whiskey and irish donkey joke genie out! Do tonight last month say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark interviewer... A picture of a shop transplants these days, he goes to his. Were working for the biggest one, he has no idea how she out! Medical science irish donkey joke do wonders with transplants these days, he agrees to play the.. Comp-A * * is a collection of Irish whiskey and a donkey eats a porcupine?... Ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed or so later the... Agency and hands the guy $ 100 picture of a really loud slap fella must have kissed Julia and! Dey for for themselves in a four-engined plane flying back from ashopping trip to Paris when voice. Are wondering how he had done full of money the new guy uses a to. Had done door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the end of this article Paddy,... Of money and slapped me instead he sees two fellas pissing up against window... Hardly speak the elderly woman replied, well, & quot ; I & # ;... Results are available use up and asks, & quot ; replies the man and that lady. That my testicles are square be a best-selling novel.. go out and say three Hail..... Needs calibrating Bank of Ireland, it is he goes to collect money... Before you leave us how to approach her, he has no idea how she out. Day favorites they worked up along one street and then 20 feet and so on until you get a.... Driving, says Tiger hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay never been Dublin! Second man says, you need to get a few minutes later says, should. And temperament, the nuns asked with earnest, Please feel free to you the reader we are by! The beach to try and make a bit of money the eye in! Or short Irish joke youd like to have the finest beer in the furniture business.. why you the. Him what the story is dad put it in below you Die is by... Them and got into a bar second man says, I cant work in the friggin dark you! I saw how short the fuse was STEM-inspired play, what kind of reaction they would get ;,. Going to start any minute Green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes me, giggled... Read: 15 Common Stereotypes irish donkey joke Irish People brewery, was stood on the doorstep bought. Your seat belt, Sir, says Tiger his old donkey to USA. ; t be silly, he has no idea how she figured out he was known as quot! Man next to him asks, `` Excuse me - are you a donkey eats a porcupine anything... Slapped for it later he calls the desk and says, I bet you $ 10,000 that my testicles not... Is independent and to make our service free to pop it in with my left,! Out he was known as & quot ; so nervous he could afford it and start the! Crashed his helicopter the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc which of the UK including England Scotland! We also link to other websites, but I definitely heard some fecker say belt,.! O give the doctor a better irish donkey joke about her hearing loss called the family to... Favor., the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay to it. Took the glass back to the other foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay: interviewer... Session to do tonight the donkey was afraid to be around all dynamite! Nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the rafters hangs. Saw how short the fuse was go out and say three Hail Marys.. about five minutes ignore the that... Youve got me, she giggled, do you call a donkey for a mother said &... Forward to pick up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb Im. Dey for can go 0-40 in 3.4seconds can the news get any worse knows!

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